Dear Concordians and friends,

Sex, sex, sex—it’s all fine and dandy if you know what to do….but do you know where to do it? Here are our top ten places to have sex in Montreal.

(One warning about public sex though: If you are queer, keep in mind that the risk can often be greater than just getting a light “talking to” from the police. You can risk being gay bashed (by the police or the public), and there is always the risk of arrest. But ya know, there is a long history of queer resistance through public sex, so we say go for it. Just be aware of the risks. Always pack lube and safer sex supplies, and you might want a change of underwear too!

10) Washroom stall. A classic. Historically, there have been riots in many Canadian cities when police started to raid bathrooms frequented by gay men. So we say…take back the bathrooms! Public sex is fast, dirty, and radical. Just make sure you remember to wash your hands.

9) Outdoors against a wall. Find a wall. The turn-on here is in the power, the passion, and the immediacy of it...you can’t wait for a bed…you need it now…sooo hot…oooohhh ohhh!

8) Changing room in a retail store. Make sure you remember to bring in some clothes as a pretense. This can be fun for a quickie. Extra points if you get thrown out.

7) Le Mont Royal. A classic for Montrealers. Find a secluded spot, bring a blanket (and maybe some rope if you play that way), and have at it. Lose yourself in the forest for an afternoon getaway from city life. (This is probably better for day play, because getting lost and cold in the scary woods is no fun.) Afterwards: check for tics!

6) On Concordia campus. If you are going to do this, make sure it is a quickie. We have all seen the security desk with their Big Brother-esque cameras. One campus tip: At Loyola, there are soundproof booths for music students to “practice” in. We’re juuuuuust sayin’.

5) The balcony of your apartment. We recommend this only for summer and late at night if you don’t want to risk pissing off your neighbors. And goods news kinky balcony dwellers, the Canadian Supreme Court ruled in 2005 that sex or masturbation on your balcony (or anywhere on your property) is A-OK, unlike the next spot.

4) Play party/orgy. This can be an incredibly intense experience: being on display, showing off, and getting off. Sex in front of strangers is hot! It can also be hot to have sex with said strangers. Remember that consent and politeness are of the utmost importance. Just because it is an orgy or play party, doesn’t mean anything goes. A good thing to do before you do the nasty, is to check in with the organizers about ground rules, safety, and clean-up. And as we learned in the film Shortbus, “Voyeurism is participation.”

3) The Notre Dame de Grace Cemetery. Similar to the confessional booth, taboo abounds. It’s a big cemetery,
with lots of green space. And hedges. And tombstones to hide behind. Bring a blanket, and a picnic basket which you can fill with toys and erotic stories. A kinky cemetery visit is sure to brighten anyone’s day.

2) Confessional booth. Offensive? Depends on your point of view. Taboo? Most would say so. Hot, dirty, and sinful? Oh darling, most definitely. This is especially so in Quebec, given our loaded history with the church. Extra points if you roleplay, MEGA extra points if you are having gay sex.

1) In an art gallery, as an installation piece. If you call something an installation piece or performance art, you can basically get away with anything. Extra points if you stage a show of you and your friends all having sex together. (If you do this, we promise that we will gladly attend and review it!)

Sex is art, and art is sexy.

—Safer sex and queer love,
Nora R. and Kate L.